Friday, April 10, 2009

Fan Film Friday: The Legend Of The Woods

Okay now, you know me-- I tell you like it is when it comes to fan films. This review won't be any different and rest assured I will spare no tears on this pile of dung. Yeah, yeah, I know-- this movie was made by kids, but House Of The Dead was made by a very experienced director... and some people will understand where I am going with this.

This movie starts off with some chode walking backwards in the woods and what do ya know... he walks into Jason... well what supposed to be Jason. The Jason we have in this opus of crap is wearing a red flannel jacket with what seems to be a Styrofoam plate fashioned into a hockey mask. But, let's not forget the awesome chain chilling on Jason's shoulders-- you know, so we know that this is the same Jason from Friday The 13th Part 7. So, he dies and then we cut to some kid and an ex-gangster from the gheto black kid reminiscing about how the town used to be cool... or something.

I won't trace each plot development in this movie, but the editing is fucking horrible. It seems like some scenes were cut mid way in the middle of a spoken line. We eventually end up in the woods with a bunch of wannabe hardass kids pitching a tent and talking about cigarettes (yeah, because that makes you so hard, right?). There's one point where Jason is supposed to be lifting this kid up by the neck, but it's fairly obvious he's being hoisted by a rope because it not only looks like it but you can hear the rope creaking. Yeah, so this is the type of movie we have here.

The movie also goes from light to extremely dar, back and forth and everytime someone swings a machete someone insterted stock sound "swing" every fucking time and it's downright annoying. This fan film was really hard to watch and it's 7 minutes that I will never get back... so watch at your own risk.


  1. I've said it on my blog and I'll say it here: You write the funniest fan film reviews around. :)
    Clive at

  2. I read the review, & was thinking "Ah come on, there's no need to be so harsh, it's not easy to make a film with no resources."
    But then I watched it. Dear God that really is a terrible attempt at a film. Crap like that gives fan films a bad name...